Gingerbread Cookies and Gumdrop Buttons
by Evil Cosmic Triplets
Summary: Maui, with the help of his Uncle Lono, cooks up an elaborate scheme to get Steve and Danny to admit their feelings for each other. Chin and Kono are along for the ride. There might be a little more going on that than that, but the four won't learn about it just yet (that's another tale, for another day). A little crack, hurt/comfort, magic, and well...slashiness at the end.
1. We're Not in Kansas Anymore

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the characters of this work of fiction, and no profit, monetary or otherwise, is being made through the writing of this.

**A/N: **I am taking extreme liberties with regard to the gods, Lono and Maui. They are not being portrayed, strictly speaking, as they would be within a traditional Hawaiian story. I mean no disrespect in this.

This has taken FOREVER (as I measure it - two and a half weeks) to write, and I know that it is not perfect, but I am okay with that. The point-of-view switches periodically, something that I did purposefully. Initially, this was supposed to be nine thousand words shorter, and a cute, little one-shot of pure crack. It morphed into something larger than that.

Enjoy (I hope; this could be rubbish).

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><p>Danny swore and took a blind shot at the men chasing after him. He felt a bullet whiz past his ear and ducked. In front of him there was an odd shimmering light, behind him, there was a gunfight.<p>

With a glance toward his partner, he headed toward the light, hoping there would be a box he could take cover behind. For a chase through the warehouse district, there had been few boxes behind which to take refuge.

Danny sprinted toward the light, seeing something beyond it that looked promising. He ignored the way that his knee twinged, and kept running, seeing that Steve was right beside him, taking another shot at their pursuers before cursing and tossing his gun away. It was an unusual move, but one that Danny really didn't have time to question now.

Chin and Kono were somewhere in the midst of the gunfight, which had been completely unexpected (weren't they always). They had been looking into a lead, that was it. And now they were running for their lives.

_Figures, _Danny thought, and he stepped in through the strange circle of light, expecting to find a box, or something to hide behind. Instead, he was engulfed by darkness, and heat so intense that he felt like he was being baked alive. When the darkness subsided, the light returned, but it was different - artificial. Danny smelled the scent of cookies baking, and looked around for the source of the delectable scent.

"You have got to be kidding me," Danny said, throwing his arms wide, and scowling when the gun he'd been holding slipped free from his grasp.

_This is not happening, _he thought, five seconds away from panicking. _This is not real. People do not turn into gingerbread cookies when they walk into a wavering field of light._

"What the..." Steve skittered to a stop beside Danny, bluish-green eyes, made of icing, growing wide as he took in Danny's appearance.

Danny had yellow icing for hair, his red mouth, also made of icing, was currently drawn in a tight line, and he had three tiny blue spiced gumdrops adorning his front. There were squiggly little lines of white icing on his arms and legs, and his eyes were made of blue icing. Danny was a gingerbread man, and from the looks of him, a rather angry gingerbread man.

_Maybe I do need a vacation,_ Steve thought.

"Laugh it up," Danny said.

He marched over to the gun which had flown from his hand, and, after several failed attempts to get his cookie hand wrapped around it - not having fingers made it much more difficult to grasp things - he finally managed to get it up off of the ground, which appeared to be made up of crushed graham crackers and Oreo cookies. The 'grass' that was scattered in little patches throughout the world they'd stepped into was comprised of some kind of gummy candy.

"You're a cookie," Steve said, rather unhelpfully.

"Take a good, hard look at yourself, Steven," Danny said, gesturing toward his cookified friend, careful to keep a good, strong grip on his gun this time. A closer look at his gun revealed that it was now made up of black licorice.

_Great _, thought Danny, _wonder if it shoots licorice nibs for bullets._

Steve's eyes grew even wider, almost reaching his hairline, which was a dark shade of brown icing. It was rather comical, and Danny laughed.

Steve glared at Danny, his icing eyes narrowing into tiny little slits. Instead of gumdrop buttons down his front, he had three, heart shaped red hot candies, and the squiggly icing lines on his legs and arms were not white, like Danny's, but a light orange in color. The knives that he kept hidden in his boot were now scored into his cookie flesh, about where his ankle would have been, and he doubted that they'd be useable, unlike the licorice gun that Danny held tightly in his rounded, fingerless hand.

"We've got to warn the others," Steve said, hand going toward where his ears should be, only to come up empty.

"Too late," Danny muttered, and he kicked at something on the ground, sending what looked like a candy rock flying at Steve.

Scowling, Steve rubbed at the spot where the candy rock had hit him, finding a dark smudge on what might possibly be his knee. He wasn't exactly up on his gingerbread man anatomy, and doubted that watching, _Shrek 1, 2 and 3_with Grace made him an expert in all things gingerbread.

Kono and Chin stumbled into whatever world Danny and Steve had just found themselves in, and, sure enough, both of them were now gingerbread cookies. Kono's dark hair was drawn on in thin lines, she had a frilly, pink, polka dot bikini drawn on her front. There was a single button, made up of white icing, just above the bottom of her bikini, serving as a belly button. She had no squiggly lines on her arms and legs, though there was a knife etched into the back of one of her legs. Her dark eyes were wide in shock as she looked from Danny to Steve and then to Chin, before she took a good, hard look at herself.

"Boys, I've got a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore," she said faintly.

Chin's mouth was turned downward as he took everything in. His hand was curled around a walkie talkie which looked like a miniature chocolate bar. "I get the feeling that this isn't going to work here," Chin said, his shoulders sagging as he tossed the chocolate bar away from himself.

Chin, too, had dark hair, though his was much shorter than Kono's. He had three green m&m buttons down his front, and, instead of squiggly lines on his arms and legs, he had straight lines that matched the color of his buttons. There were no hidden weapons on his cookie person.

All four of them had been stripped of their tactical vests, and their comm devices, aside from the walkie talkie that Chin had been holding, were gone. They had no communication with the outside world, and were, essentially trapped in a world made up of candy.

They'd been inside of the warehouse district when they'd stepped through the wavy yellow light, and now they were inside of a 'forest' that sported trees which had candy sticks (of various colors and flavors) for trunks. Some trees had gummy bears for their leaves, others had multi-colored marshmallows, or gumballs; there were even trees that did not have candy sticks for trunks, but were filled in from top to bottom with gumdrops, reminding Danny and the others of Christmas trees.

"We've still got Duke and the HPD on the other side," Chin reminded them. Though, given their circumstances, it was of very little consolation.

"Hey, maybe we can go back the way we came," Kono said, voice filling with hope. She turned toward the portal of light, and took a step forward only to have it wink out with a flash that nearly blinded her and the others.

"Well, there goes that plan," she muttered, frowning and poking at the spot where the light had been.

"Great, just great," Danny fumed, arms going up toward the painted sky. Blue frosting, cotton candy clouds and birds made of icing. "So, what, we're stuck here, wherever the hell _here_is, forever now?"

"I wonder if that's what the old man meant when he warned us of the dark magic that his son wielded," Steve thought aloud.

"Gee, ya think?" Danny asked, voice rising in conjunction with his mounting fear.

He liked eating gingerbread cookies, often went right for the head, biting it clean off and gaining a small amount of satisfaction from it, but he definitely did not relish the idea of being stuck like this - a gingerbread cookie in some kind of candy land, forever. Were they going to wind up on someone's plate? Would his head become someone's late night snack? Would he become one of the cookies on a plate meant for Santa? Christmas was right around the corner, and it would be just his luck.

"We all just need to calm down and assess the situation," Chin, ever the peacemaker, said. His eyes were focused on something in the distance, and his mouth was drawn in a line that was much too thin for it to be anything good.

"Guys, we need to get moving," he said. He reached for Kono's arm, pulling her toward the forest at a run.

Danny and Steve followed suit, neither of them questioning Chin's cryptic warning or abrupt departure. They'd worked long enough with the man to know that Chin was not easily moved. Cookie or not, they trusted Chin's instincts.

Running on short, squat gingerbread legs was tough work, though, and all four of them were soon winded. Panting and holding their thick sides, they leaned against the odd tree trunks until they regained their breath and started off again at a gallop.

"I think we need to find another magical portal, or whatever it was that we stepped through," Chin said, voice ringing with authority that not even Steve stopped to question. "Maybe it'll take us back home."

"Or we could end up somewhere else worse than Candy Land," Danny groused, frowning down at his stubby legs as he tripped over the stick of a lollipop that had fallen from a 'tree' comprised of Chupa Chups.

At least here they were all the same height and width, so no one could make a crack at his short stature, or blame him for holding them up. They were all, for once, in the same boat, in a manner of speaking. The only way they differed from each other was in the way that they'd been 'decorated'.

"This has got to be some kind of dream," Kono said. "Or a hallucination. Maybe the warehouse was filled with some kind of drug."

"If that were the case, we wouldn't all be having the same exact hallucination," Steve said, words coming out in little puffs as he struggled for air. "It's not medically or scientifically possible. Even if we had all been exposed to some kind of hallucinogen, each of us would be experiencing something different. Yes, we'd have a 'mass hallucination', but it would not be of the same exact thing."

"Thanks for the mini-lesson in hallucinations, Mr. Wizard." Sarcasm dripped from Danny's lips. "None of that is even remotely helpful right now."

_Should it really be this difficult to run around on rounded feet? The gingerbread man in Shrek had been able to do it. He hadn't been winded. What were they doing wrong? Did they even need to breathe?_

"Maybe we should make sure that we are all experiencing the same thing," Kono suggested, reaching an arm out to steady herself against a spearmint stick when she tripped over a piece of rock candy.

"I'm trapped in some kind of Candy Land, and all of you are gingerbread people. Kono, you've got a frilly, pink, polka dot bikini on -"

"So, it's not just me," Kono interrupted Danny before he could finish describing her, or anyone else, in great detail.

Steve shook his head, and halted, cookie leg poised just above the crumbly ground. He cocked his head to the side, cupped a hand around where his ear would have been, had he had one, and 'listened' to something that Danny, and the others, could not hear.

His icing mouth turned downward in a dramatic frown, and Danny could feel his own icing lips wriggling in response. It was disconcerting. He could picture what his cookie self must look like right now, and it wasn't very pretty.

"What if we can't get out of this place?" Kono asked, dark eyes turning downward at the corners.

"I am_ not_ going to spend the rest of my life as a gingerbread man," Danny said. "Grace's Christmas play is in a couple of days, and I intend to be there, in the flesh, not as some kind of glorified Christmas cookie. How is this even part of some diabolical plan? I mean, who in their right mind turns people into gingerbread cookies using magic? I mean, why not turn us into mice, or rabbits, or something logical?"

"None of those other options are very logical, or desirable alternatives," Chin observed, calm in spite of the fact that he was plucking a glob of fallen marshmallow fluff out of his hair.

"Great, now it's snowing," Danny said, nearly losing his grip on his licorice gun.

"Don't say it," Kono warned, holding up an arm, when Danny opened his mouth to state the obvious, that things couldn't possibly get worse.

Danny sighed and nodded, even as he ducked beneath a candy-cane tree to avoid a clump of marshmallow fluff. "Why can't it be powdered sugar?"

"Be careful what you wish for, Danno," Steve warned as he took point and led them further into the forest, seemingly oblivious to the sticky 'snow' that continued to fall from the gloomy looking sky.

The blue sky had darkened into a faux grey, and the clouds had turned from cotton candy fluff to something a little more sinister looking. They all shivered, and, following Steve's lead, ducked their heads and plowed onward, hoping to find a portal to the world they had left behind.

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><p>Please be kind, and drop me a line (kind of rhymes).<p> 


	2. Let it Snow, Not

**Disclaimer:** See initial chapter.

**A/N:** Craziness ensues; I did warn you, right? Sorry if this isn't quite what you were all envisioning. I do like the idea of Danny being dunked in milk...perhaps I can make that a nightmare after the fact.

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><p>"Why is it so c-cold?" Danny asked. "It's snowing marshmallow fluff, not the big, white snowflakes I grew up with. I could use a coat, an industrial sized umbrella, anything."<p>

"I know, Danny," Steve said. He brushed a glop of marshmallow fluff off of his shoulder and frowned as it plopped onto the ground. "We could all use something."

"I don't know what you two are complaining about," Kono said through shivers that made clumps of the white fluff fall from her shoulders. "I don't see you two in swim trunks."

"It's not like my gumdrop buttons offer much protection from the elements," Danny countered. "I don't see what the big deal about them is. Lord Farquaad can take all of mine if he wants them. Just as long as he helps us find a way out of this godforsaken place. I swear, if I step in another pothole filled with marshmallow fluff, I'm going to lose it."

Steve grunted, and kept walking, head down, shoulders pitched forward. Chin remained mute, simply putting one rounded foot in front of the other. He kept his thoughts to himself, uncertain of what to say, or how to put his thoughts into words.

None of this made any sense, and he was hoping that, any moment, he'd wake up and find out that this was some very odd and elaborate dream courtesy of an overindulgence in alcohol. He didn't drink to get drunk often, but maybe he'd really outdone himself the night before, and was now reaping the bizarre benefits of it.

"You know that, once we get back, provided that we can get back, we're going to have to make sure that nothing like this happens again," Danny said, seeming to need a steady stream of conversation. "Which means that we'll have to find Maui Tawhiri, and his Uncle Lono. Provided they haven't disappeared into thin air." Danny waved the hand that wasn't holding the licorice gun as he spoke.

"Don't you worry, we'll find them," Steve said, voice a low growl.

Danny laughed and shook marshmallow fluff off his face. "According to a book that Grace was reading about Hawaiian legends, Maui is a trickster god, and Tawhiri is the god of wind and storms." Danny snorted and pointed one rounded hand toward the sky which did look rather windy and stormy, albeit with a multitude of dark colored candies.

"And Lono is one of the four original gods. He's considered to be the god of fertility, peace, rainfall and music, among other things," Chin finished, mouth turned downward and dark eyes rounding to miniscule dots of icing that were barely visible.

"Danny, what did you do to piss the gods off _this_ time?" Kono asked, turning toward the gingerbread version of her friend who was trying to shake a glob of marshmallow fluff off of his foot.

Danny scowled at her, the blue icing of his eyes and the red of his mouth becoming thin lines in his anger. "I didn't do anything," he said, muttering almost beneath his breath, "this time...that I know of..."

"This time I think the blame can be laid squarely on us all," Chin said, thoughtful. "Remember the last case that we had?"

"The one involving the drug cartel?" Steve turned toward Chin, eyes lighting up expressively.

Steve had always worn his emotions on his face, in spite of trying to keep them tightly closed off, but now they were even more animated, the icing making everything much more dramatic than it would have been otherwise. Danny, and the others, wisely said nothing about how the icing of his eyes widened, and a little asterisk of white sparkled in one of them. It was rather adorable, though the Five-0 team knew better than to say anything about gingerbread Steve's cuteness, not even when twin, rose-colored circles - like the colored sugar sprinkles that children put on cookies - appeared on his cheeks as understanding dawned on him.

Steve absentmindedly brushed newly fallen marshmallow fluff off of his arm as he nodded. Chin's face, even in gingerbread mode, gave nothing away, but he, too nodded.

Kono and Danny both exchanged shrugs. "What are they talking about?" Kono asked.

"Beats me." Danny shook marshmallow fluff out of his hair.

"You know, the Mendoza case," Steve said, dark brown eyebrows rising toward his hairline as he spoke. "As we were cuffing one of the men, he muttered some kind of prayer, and said something about the gods taking vengeance on us."

Danny and Kono frowned.

"Sorry, boss, doesn't ring a bell." Kono's shoulders sagged apologetically.

Danny shook his head, and scratched at it with the butt of his licorice gun before realizing what he was doing and quickly putting it down by his side. "Sorry, I got nothing."

Steve and Chin exchanged a look that gave little away of what they were thinking, save for that it was not good.

"Amnesia," Chin muttered. "Maybe that's all part of the plan."

"But turning us all into gingerbread people?" Steve placed his hands where his hips would be. "It doesn't make sense. What kind of vengeance is this?"

"Well, it _is_ near Christmas," Danny offered, still not recalling the Mendoza bust.

"And maybe whoever prayed to the gods wasn't very specific. Maui is a trickster, maybe this is just his idea of fun," Kono added, and she wiped off a piece of marshmallow fluff that had landed just above her bikini top.

"Some kind of fun _this_ is," Danny mumbled. "I'm ankle deep, or whatever the heck it is that gingerbread people have instead of ankles, in marshmallow fluff, tripping over unseen obstacles in a forest of candy trees. This is _not_ my idea of fun."

"But it might be Maui's idea of fun," Chin said.

"I thought he was all about the sea and fish, though." Danny frowned as he tried to remember what he'd read in Grace's book. They'd read it together, taking turns. It had been fun at the time, had he known that something like this was going to happen in the future, he would have paid more attention.

"A trickster is a trickster, Danny," Kono said, placing a hand on his back. "You can't put anything past them, and they aren't exactly known for their logic. I think that this is right up Maui's alley. Like you said, it's near Christmas, and what's more festive than gingerbread men and candy?"

"I can think of a lot of things," Danny muttered darkly. "And not one of them involves gingerbread."

"It doesn't explain why you two can't remember the Mendoza case, though," Chin said, taking point as Steve fell back to check out something that none of them had noticed. Even as a gingerbread cookie, Steve was still a Navy SEAL at heart.

"We worked for months on that case."

"Odd," Kono said, and she drew nearer to Danny as they walked. "Not even the name is familiar."

Danny's eyes became dark blue slits as he racked his brain, trying to recall information that didn't seem to be there.

"What if you and Steve are remembering a case that doesn't exist?" he asked. "What if it's not Kono and I who are experiencing memory problems, but you and Steve?"

Chin frowned at the prospect, but kept moving. He could feel danger, of some sort, a darkness, lurking in the shadows of the colorful trees that surrounded them. He felt uneasy, but couldn't put his finger (not that he had any fingers at the moment) on what was causing the unease. No doubt it was the same sense of unease that had Steve doubling back and scouting the area for potential threats.

"It's a possibility," Chin said, after a pause.

"But you don't think that's what happened," Kono surmised when Chin fell silent.

Chin shook his head, sending little bits of marshmallow fluff flying. "No, I think that, along with whatever is going on, your and Danny's memories have been compromised."

"Do you think we'll get our memories back?" Kono asked, gripping Danny a little tighter.

"I'm not sure," Chin said, suddenly stopping and holding a hand up for the two of them to stop walking. He'd heard something, a snuffling, shuffling sound. It stopped almost as soon as it had started.

"The only thing I know for sure is that we need to get out of this place, as soon as possible."

"What is it?" Danny asked, voice rising in alarm. "What did you hear?"

"I don't know for sure, but I think that we're being followed. Steve went to check it out." Chin kept his voice even, not giving away any of the trepidation that he felt.

"How long?" Kono asked.

"Since we left the closed portal," Chin said, turning to regard them. His mouth was drawn in a tight, almost smile that did not reach his eyes, and in their current state, smiles could literally reach their eyes if they wanted them to.

"What do you think it is?" Danny asked. "If you had to make a guess."

"A cookie eating monster?" Kono shivered, eyes growing into big circles at the very thought.

"Of the, 'me want cookies' variety, or of the roar, gobble, gobble, variety?" Danny wondered aloud.

"I don't know anything for sure, just that we're being watched," Chin said, holding a hand up for them to stop making wild guesses. "For all we know it could be nothing, and I could be paranoid."

"Both you and Steve?" Kono snorted. "I'm starting to get a funny feeling about all of this."

She smacked Danny on the arm when he said, "Just now?"

"What I mean is that I feel like I'm being watched," Kono clarified, rolling her eyes.

"I thought it was just a given," Danny said, yellow eyebrows crawling up to his hairline when both Chin and Kono glared at him. "What? I didn't want anyone to think I was paranoid."

Chin shook his head, and led them to a tree made of tootsie rolls where they could escape beneath the thick branches, for a brief moment, from the falling marshmallow fluff. They brushed the sticky mess off of themselves, and huddled together as they waited for Steve to finish scouting the area, eyes watching the moving shadows around them.

"We can't stay here," Steve said, coming at them from out of nowhere and startling all three of them.

He ignored their gasps and narrow-eyed looks and motioned for them to follow him. He was covered in the white fluffy stuff, and looked a little like the Stay Puft marshmallow man, but no one said anything. They hurried after Steve as fast as their little stubby gingerbread legs, and the gathering marshmallow fluff, would allow them to, which wasn't very fast.

"Steven," Danny said, panting and leaning against what appeared to be a spearmint stick. "I'm not setting another foot in any direction until you tell us what's going on. What did you find? Where are you leading us? Did you find the portal that will bring us home?"

"Danno, we don't have time for this right now," Steve said, his bluish green eyes were tiny little squares.

"_Make_ time for it," Danny said. "I mean it, Steven, I am not going to set another foot in that white crap unless I know where you're taking us. Any other day, and I wouldn't mind following your ass, god knows where, because lord knows you've got a pretty fine ass as far as asses go, but right now, your ass is the flat, backside of a cookie and -"

"You think I have a fine ass?" Steve's eyes were round now, the icing of his mouth was turned upward in a goofy grin.

Kono groaned and slapped Danny on the back, inadvertently pushing him toward Steve. Chin rolled his eyes, and shook his head.

"In all that I said, that's what you chose to focus on? Your ass?" Danny raised his eyes toward the heavens, which were turning into something resembling black licorice, like the gun he still held in his rounded hand.

Steve's mouth slipped into a pout, and he fidgeted with one of his red hot hearts. The faint blush of sugar sprinkles reappeared on his cheeks. It was a rather fetching look, even on a cookie. Or maybe especially on a cookie. Or maybe it was just fetching on cookie Steve.

"Boss, everyone knows you've got a cute ass," Kono said, blushing herself.

Chin pretended that he hadn't heard anything, and looked anywhere but at Steve's ass.

"Really?" Steve asked.

Kono nodded. "Yes, and Danny's ass isn't too shabby either."

Steve's eyes became saucers, and his head swiveled. Danny tried covering up his backside with his over-sized cookie hands and nearly sent the licorice gun flying. He scowled at Kono and sent a glare in Steve's direction.

"Right now it's not at its best," he said, bristling. "But I digress. Where, Captain, O my Captain, are you taking us, and why?"

Steve shook his head, his rounded eyes had momentarily turned into pinwheels of blue and green, and they resumed their roundish shape. The blush did not leave his cheeks, though, and he determinedly looked at the ground which was growing steadily whiter by the second.

"Believe it or not, there are toy soldiers, with guns, and I'm not talking the licorice kind that you're toting, Danny, I'm talking rifles, with bayonets. They seem to be hunting for something...or someone," Steve said, rounded hands on his middle.

"Toy...toy soldiers?" Danny sputtered. "Are we talking Babes in Toyland or GI Joe here?"

Steve shrugged, thought twice of running a hand over his face and gestured toward the forest at large. "Whatever they are, they are circling the forest."

"Trying to hem us in?" Chin asked.

Steve nodded.

"What else is there for them to be hunting?" Kono asked, not wanting the answer to be something like the candy, or toy version of werewolves, or other unsavory beasts that might be lurking in the candy forest.

"The good news is, I found a house, or maybe it's a cottage, just a few yards ahead," Steve said, eyes becoming open triangles, like arrows pointed in opposite directions.

"Let me guess, it's made of gingerbread, and is adorned with candy," Danny said drily.

Steve nodded. "It's even got those fancy, see through windows made of colored sugar. My mom made them once," Steve explained when everyone looked at him with rounded eyes.

"Oh, goodie!" Danny said, clapping his hands together, careful of the gun, though he had no idea if it actually worked. He plastered a fake smile on his face. "Windows made of colored sugar heated to an astronomical temperature. We'll definitely be safe there."

"Look, I know it's not ideal, but -"

"Steve, Danny, we don't have time for your usual banter. It doesn't look like this 'snow' is going to stop anytime soon, and right now, any shelter is better than none," Chin said, cutting off another argument before either man could get into full swing. "Even shelter that's made of gingerbread and sugar windows."

"You're right," Steve said.

"Sorry," Danny and Steve said at the same time.

Chin waved their apologies off, and Steve took the lead once more. They couldn't exactly run in the thicker than usual snow that had fallen, and was continuing to fall. They were quickly winded as they trudged through it, leaving a path that anyone would be able to follow.

"I'll have to double-back," Steve said. "Cover our tracks."

Danny shook his head. "How long do you think this magical trip we've been sent on is going to last? I say that we get to shelter and just wait out the storm, wait out the toy soldiers, wait out this whole damn mess."

"We can't count on it working like that," Steve said, voice diplomatic. "If this _is _Maui's work, we can't count on anything."

"I refuse to believe that this is permanent," Danny said.

"Regardless of whether this is a permanent situation or not, it's a good idea to cover our tracks. Like it or not, we are not the only ones here, and we are, from what I saw, vastly outnumbered and outgunned." Steve's voice was tight. "It's a wonder they haven't found us yet, with all the noise we're making."

"And by we, you mean me," Danny said, pointing toward himself.

"How much farther, bossman?" Kono asked, she had one arm wrapped across her waist. "Not that I'm not enjoying the 'snow' here, but it's not quite how I imagined it would be when I was a little girl, dreaming of a white Christmas."

"Yeah, it's a little too sticky for comfort," Danny adding, stomping in an attempt to dislodge a clump of the messy stuff from his foot.

"Not too far now," Steve said, trying to keep the frustration from his voice. He hadn't meant to signal Danny out, but the other man, gingerbread or otherwise, was not known for his silence.

"Good, because I don't know about everyone else, but -" Danny's voice was cut off by the sudden sound of jingling bells, which was followed by a series of staccato rat-a-tat-tats, and a scream that caused Steve's red hot buttons to jump right off of him and back into place.

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><p>Reviews are much valued (kind of rhymes).<p> 


	3. Not My Gumdrop Button

**Disclaimer:** See initial chapter.

**A/N:** Did I mention this was crazy? And unbalanced? What about Danny whump; did I mention that? Or the dry/dark humor? Suspense?

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><p>"What is it, where are you hit?" Chin had fallen to his knees beside Kono who had fallen as well, sinking down into the marshmallow fluff. It had been her scream, followed by two thuds, which had caused Steve's buttons to react as they had.<p>

"It's not me," Kono said, turning toward Chin, the icing of her mouth formed a wobbly 'o' shape, and her eyes were crinkled around the edges. Lying face down in front of her, nearly buried in marshmallow fluff, was Danny.

"What happened?" Steve knelt beside them, immediately reaching for Danny.

There was a smoking hole in the back of Danny's shoulder, the licorice gun had slipped from his grasp when he'd been hit, and was lying several feet from where they were positioned. Steve was torn between helping Chin and Kono dig Danny free from the marshmallow fluff, which was starting to harden, just like real snow, when the temperature dropped below freezing, would do.

"We got him, Steve," Chin said, eyes following Steve's toward the lost weapon. Their only weapon.

Steve vacillated, but another rat-a-tat-tat, and a burst of white marshmallow fluff exploding nearby decided things for him. He went for the gun, and ignored the colorful swearing, as well as the obvious pain in Danny's voice that accompanied Chin and Kono's efforts in freeing their friend.

"It's not bleeding," Kono said, confusion evident in her voice.

"I don't like the way that it's smoking," Chin said.

"Smells like burnt cookie." Kono grimaced.

"Of course it does," Danny said, voice faint. He craned his head, trying to get a glimpse of the injury, but having an overly large, round head and almost no neck at all made it impossible for him to do so.

"Take it easy, Danny," Chin said, voice clipped, and icing mouth in a straight, no nonsense line. "Steve?"

"Working on it. You and Kono get Danny to the cabin; it's just a couple of yards in that direction." Steve pointed toward the right. "I'll see what this licorice gun can do."

"No, no, no you don't get to play Lone Ranger commando here, Steve," Danny said, moaning and nearly fainting when he twisted and jarred his still smoking injury.

"Danny, this isn't open for discussion. Chin, Kono, get him to safety," Steve said, and, even as a gingerbread cookie he looked bad-ass. Little fudge-like smudges appeared beneath his eyes, like warpaint, and a bandana made of sour belts (a Hawaiian candy that's flat and sugary) was fashioned around his head.

If Rambo had been a gingerbread cookie, he'd have looked like Steve did now, Danny couldn't help thinking.

He felt his cheeks flushing as images of Steve, in full Rambo mode, flooded his mind. That his mind supplied Steve, naked, coming up out of the ocean, water clinging to his bulging muscles...made Danny very happy that he was currently a gingerbread cookie, because if he wasn't, he'd have had a very hard time hiding his feelings for Steve right now.

"You okay, Danny?" Kono asked, mistaking the sudden rush of blood - sugar crystals - to his face as something else.

Danny kept his eyes locked on the marshmallow fluff surrounding him and nodded. He couldn't look any of them in the eye right now, not with how expressive gingerbread cookies seemed to be here. His eyes would probably give him away, shaped like hearts or something sappy like that. Hearts with arrows in them.

"I'm fine," Danny grunted when Kono nudged him. "Just, help me up, would you?"

"Easy," Chin cautioned when Danny wobbled unsteadily to his feet.

Kono and Chin were positioned on either side of him, Steve had disappeared into the white fluff that they were now engulfed in. What had started out as a 'snowstorm' had become a blizzard, with very low visibility.

"Where's Steve?" Danny asked, trying to peer around Chin and Kono, the childhood taunt of - you make a better door than a window - popping into his head when Chin and Kono kept blocking his line of sight.

"He's fine, Danny," Kono assured him. "We need to get you to that gingerbread house, or cabin, or whatever the hell it is, and take a look at that wound."

"But..." Danny frowned when his efforts to catch a glimpse of Steve were fruitless, and only caused his arm to ache.

"He'll be okay, Danny," Chin promised. "You know Steve. He'll be fine."

"Yeah, I know Steve, that's why I'm worried," Danny said.

It felt like his arm was going to fall off at the shoulder, and, given that he was a cookie, that could very well happen. He shivered when he remembered what had happened to the gingerbread man in Shrek, how he'd had to have his broken legs reattached with icing after Lord Farquaad had finished torturing him for information.

Would that be Danny's fate as well, his right arm reattached with thick frosting or icing? And if, when, they made it back to reality, would he be armless? Would this injury remain with him beyond the portal out of this place?

His stomach, or whatever passed for that now, hurt as well. It was a persistent stabbing pain, as though his stomach was filled with tiny, sharp knives. He groaned when he tripped over some unseen obstacle, the pain increasing tenfold.

"What's wrong, Danny?" Kono asked.

"Stomach," he grunted. His eyes turned into little x's, and then blinked out altogether as he lost consciousness, sagging between Kono and Chin.

Kono frowned and exchanged a look with Chin. His mouth was little more than a very thin, almost not there, line of icing, and his eyes were small rectangles. Kono's mouth was a wavy line, and her eyes were twin frowns.

"I think I see the gingerbread house," Chin said, his voice giving away nothing of his worry for Danny, or Steve, who had seemed to disappear into thin air.

The rat-a-tat-tat sound of gunfire exploded somewhere behind them, causing Kono and Chin to quicken their pace. It wasn't easy, lugging Danny at a jog through the thick, white fluff, but they somehow made it to the gingerbread house Steve had told them about without falling, or losing Danny, or his arm, along the way.

Thankfully the deadweight of a cookie wasn't as heavy as the deadweight of a full grown man, though perhaps that was in part due to the adrenaline rush that fueled Kono and Chin's awkward sprint toward what they hoped would provide adequate shelter. Chin kicked and pushed at the door, his grip on Danny slipping a little.

"I got him, cuz," Kono assured him, taking the bulk of Danny's weight so that Chin could get the door open.

After several pushes and shoves that left Chin panting from th effort, the door finally squeaked open. The thick frosting that held the door together was a little orange in color, as though it had rusted. The doorknob was a blue gumball.

It was a quaint little gingerbread house, more like a cottage, and it smelled strongly of cinnamon, cloves and nutmeg. It was almost overpowering, and Chin wondered if he and the others smelled as strongly of the gingerbread spice mixture as the house did.

"Do we smell like that?" Kono asked, the dot of icing that was her nose formed an upside down triangle.

Chin shrugged, and reached for Danny. There were more pressing matters at hand than whether or not they smelled like Christmas morning at the Kelly's.

"Do you think this place is furnished?" Kono asked, trying to peer around Chin's shoulders to see within the dimly lit interior.

Chin helped Kono lug Danny into the cottage, and shut the door behind them. He doubted that the gingerbread walls would be much of a match for the guns that the toy soldiers (why couldn't they have become toys instead of gingerbread people?) were toting, but they were better than nothing.

A quick perusal of the small structure revealed a cozy looking room with a couch made of marshmallows and sections of chocolate bars. It was rather stylish looking. Chin and Kono maneuvered Danny onto the couch, mindful of his injured shoulder.

"Holy..." Kono exclaimed, eyes popping right off of her face and back on again, like a cartoon. It was mildly disconcerting, and slightly off-putting, but Chin said nothing, just focused on Danny who was a pale shade of ginger.

"Look at his gumdrop button," Kono said, pointing at the object of interest with her rounded appendage.

Chin frowned at the middle gumdrop, and rubbed his forehead. "That explains his comment about his stomach. Looks like the gumdrop button took a bullet, and protected him."

"And that dark circle around the gumdrop button's like a bruise?" Kono asked. "Do you think there's any internal damage?"

A set of thin eyebrows, perfectly arched, etched themselves onto Chin's forehead, just above his eyes. They telegraphed his surprise at his cousin's question, as well as the possibility that Danny could be hurt even worse than they'd initially thought.

"Don't tell me, my eggs have been scrambled," Danny croaked, and a single blue dot appeared as he opened an eye.

"That's not funny, Danny," Kono said, sounding a little choked, but there was a twinkle (literally) in her eye.

"I'll see if I can find a first aid kit, or whatever passes for one here," Chin muttered as he moved away from Kono and Danny.

"Where's Steve?" Danny asked, voice weak, eye winking out again.

"Don't worry about Steve," Kono said, awkwardly patting Danny's uninjured shoulder. "I'm sure he's fine."

A loud burst of gunfire sounded from somewhere nearby, and Danny's eyes popped open. He tried to sit up - groaning as the injuries to his stomach and shoulder were jarred with the sudden movement- but Kono pushed him back down.

"He shouldn't be out there alone," Danny said, eyes moving toward the edge of his face, as though he would be able to see outside if his eyes reached far enough.

"I know." Kono said. "I know, Danny, but you're in no condition to go out there and be Steve's backup right now. As soon as -"

"Bingo!" Chin raced into the room, the icing of his mouth was shaped into a half moon. "Found a cookie repair kit."

"Chin, you and Kono should go help Steve. I can take care of myself." Danny reached for the cookie repair kit, head reeling with everything that had happened, was happening. It was insane. Or maybe just he was insane.

He tried to keep the bubble of hysterical laughter from bursting forth, but couldn't. If ever there was a moment that called for laughter, it was this one, though it felt like his gut was being sliced open as he shook.

"Shit," Kono exclaimed. "Chin..." There was something in the tone of her voice that caused Danny's laughter to dry up. Though she had placed an arm on his good shoulder, and had positioned herself to be in his direct line of vision, Danny saw what had caused Kono's eyes to widen. One of his gumdrop buttons had a huge chunk out of it, and his laughter had loosened it. It was tearing off of him, and it hurt.

"Not my gumdrop button," Danny said weakly, chuckling and frowning, turning his eyes, which were blue spirals, on Kono as though she held the answers to why it hurt so much.

"Danny, it's going to be okay," Kono said, the concern in her voice betraying her fear. "It's going to be okay, right Chin?"

"Yeah," Chin said, voice lacking its usual authority. "Everything is going to be alright, Danny."

Kono and Chin exchanged a look, and that's when Danny realized that it wasn't just his gumdrop button that was at stake, and he tried to struggle free of Kono's hold. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"Danny, hold still," Kono said. "You need to stop moving around so much."

"Tell me what's wrong." Danny's eyes were on the sides of his face once again, and he still couldn't see anything. It was a handy thing to be able to do, because it did give him a wider view, but it was useless right now, because Kono wasn't letting him see anything.

"Danny, look at me," Chin ordered, and Danny's eyes snapped toward Chin. His mouth was a thin line of red. "Your arm is starting to crack." Chin held a hand up when Danny's mouth formed an 'o'.

Chin's eyes started to narrow. "You need to stop moving around so much, and let Kono and I take care of you."

"I feel like Humpty Dumpty," Danny said, voice flat, but he stopped struggling to see his injury.

"Don't worry, Danny, we're going to put you back together." The grin that Kono was wearing looked forced, even by gingerbread cookie standards, and Danny had seen some pretty scary looking 'happy' faces on gingerbread cookies that Grace had decorated when she was younger.

"_All the king's horses, and all the king's men..._" Danny's voice faded and his eyes winked out again.

"Chin, what if we can't -"

"Don't," Chin said, holding a hand up. "Danny will be fine. We'll all be fine."

"How can you be so sure?" Kono asked, eyes forming into what looked like teardrops.

"Because anything less than that is unacceptable," Chin said, and, with a determined frown fixed firmly in place, he opened the cookie repair kit.

It was filled with a variety of cookie parts, none of which were gumdrops. There were a number of different colors, and flavors, of frosting and icing. Each item had its very own compartment. There were little silver balls, red hots, sprinkles in a rainbow of colors, and a number of things that Chin had never really seen in person, but knew by name, only because of his mother and aunts. He didn't know where to start.

Kono peered over Chin's shoulder and plucked some pouch-like thing out of the kit. She was grinning triumphantly as she wielded it high in the air.

"Hand me the..." she squinted her eyes as she read something over Chin's shoulder. "Hand me the extra thick white...caulking?...icing."

Chin handed her the requested item, and stood back, watching her work. He wanted to go out, help Steve, but knew that, without a weapon, there was little he could do. So, he played nurse to Kono's doctoring, and tried not to over think every burst of gunfire he could hear, or the lack of gunfire that accompanied the final 'stitch' that Kono put into Danny's cracked arm.

Danny's eyes popped open and his mouth formed a thin, wriggly line when Kono had finished. He attempted to sit up, but Kono pushed him back. "Easy, Danny, I just got done patching you up."

"Feels like I've been chewed up and spit out," Danny croaked.

"Hey." Kono slapped Danny's good arm. "That's my handiwork you're talking about." He mouth turned downward in a mock frown.

"My bad." Danny attempted a smile. "You'd think that being a cookie would have some perks. You know, like no pain, or -"

A sudden gust of wind, and a loud crack rent the air, cutting off the rest of Danny's words. The door to the cabin flew open and a dark, shadowy figure filled the doorway.

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><p>I need feedback. Please. Like crackers need cheese. (I just revised this request for feedback so that it would rhyme...sad)<p> 


	4. A Plot is Afoot

**Disclaimer:** See initial chapter.

**A/N:** Did I mention this was a tad 'unbalanced'? There's a change in perspective that is hopefully not too jarring. Some questions are answered, others brought up (no doubt), and an idea is broached which is never actually brought to fruition in this particular story (if there's interest, there may be another story dealing with the little nugget that Lono drops here).

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><p>Maui peered into the gingerbread house through the looking glass, and gave the scene unfolding within it a thoughtful frown. Lono shook his head, and grasped the trickster god's shoulder. Of all of the gods, Maui was the most playful; he had the oddest sense of humor.<p>

"Maui, son, I think it's time to send our friends back to where they belong," Lono said, squeezing the younger god's shoulder.

"Not until they see how much they mean to each other." In addition to a sense of humor that few appreciated, Maui had a stubborn streak that was a mile long (at least).

Lono sighed. "Not everyone can see what the gods can, and few can see what you can."

"Uncle Lono, just a few more minutes," Maui begged, brown eyes glittering with excitement as he watched the four humans he had taken an interest in.

The dark-haired man, Steve, Lono thought his name was, had burst into the cabin, a flurry of the 'snow' that Maui had 'gifted' them with, blew in through the open door before Steve could close it.

"You should leave the matchmaking to one of your sisters," Lono scoffed, and he cuffed the back of Maui's head.

"These two have been circling each other for years, Uncle. It's time that they realize how much they mean to each other, before it's too late," Maui said. The younger god was rarely sad, and Lono knew that he was pining after his own lost love.

Lono nodded, and gestured toward the looking glass, peering into it himself. "I still do not understand why you created such an elaborate setup. Surely something a little less dramatic, and more in keeping with their line of work would have done the trick."

Maui shook his head. "Not with these two. They're both stubborn men. I knew it would take something out of the ordinary to make them see what they should have been seeing all along."

Lono raised an eyebrow. "And the inclusion of their teammates in all of this?"

Maui smiled. "The cousins are 'ohana."

"And the injuries to the blonde-haired one?" Lono's frown deepened. He hadn't approved of Maui's toy soldiers. The snowstorm was one thing, but the violence was something that Lono had little love for.

"Call it a little 'push' in the right direction." Maui laughed and ducked out of the way of Lono's next cuff. "Watch and listen old man."

Lono glared at the younger god, and lightning flashed in his eyes, but he turned toward the looking glass, indulging Maui in his strange proclivities. They might not always see eye-to-eye, but he could see that the injuries to the blonde one had indeed caused the dark-haired one to behave in a manner which was atypical.

The one called Steve had rushed into the cabin, and knelt beside his partner, a look of distress evident on his face. Lono cleared his throat and felt heat rise to his cheeks when the cookies gave each other a once over, their eyes roaming over every inch of the other, taking in every single detail. A quick, sidelong glance toward Maui revealed that the other god had no compunction with spying on the four humans, with bearing witness to such an intimate exchange.

Their voices were tinny, as human voices often were when heard from the heavens, but there was no mistaking the love in the tones that were used by the four. Though he felt like a peeping Tom, Lono listened keenly to the exchange that took place in the gingerbread cabin.

"Here, Danno," Steve said, eyes glued to the blonde cookie's face. "Take one of mine."

At first, Lono had no idea what the dark-haired cookie was talking about, and he squinted as he peered into the glass, pressing his face closer to it. He ignored Maui's knowing chuckle in favor of watching the occupants of the cabin.

The blonde cookie's gumdrop button had been ruined, and Steve was offering his partner one of his heart-shaped red hot candies as a replacement. A sacrifice that the blonde refused to accept until Steve stubbornly worked the candy loose and glued it onto the protesting Danno.

"You goof," Danno scolded, though his mouth was shaped into a lopsided grin, and there was love reflected in his eyes - tiny little hearts of white within the blue.

"They love each other," Lono acknowledged.

Maui nodded. "Yes."

"Will his injuries remain once they return?" Lono asked, without taking his eyes off of the cookies. "And what of the lies you planted in the heads of the male cousin and Steve?"

"Not lies, Uncle Lono, foreknowledge. The Mendoza case will not happen for another month," Maui explained, voice subdued, which was unusual for the god. "It will return to them as though in a dream. I believe humans call it...déjà vu?"

"And the injuries?" Lono reminded the younger god.

Maui sighed. "It would seem that everyone, including you, likes a happy ending. The four will return to their world no worse for the wear, but Danny's injuries will require time to heal."

There was a familiar smirk on the god's face, and Lono slapped Maui on the back. "Part of the plan?"

"I think it's time," Maui announced, clapping his hands together and forming a yellow ball of light within the palms of his hands. "They're ready to return."

"Will you wipe the memory of this from their minds?" Lono asked.

Maui shook his head. "I do not think so. This will be told to their grandchildren, and will be passed on for generations to come, though with quite a bit of embellishment."

Maui took the yellow light and blew it through the looking glass, whispering something that Lono could not quite hear. There was a tender look on the young god's voice, but Lono turned to watch the four in the cabin.

"Danny?" Steve's eyes were focused on his friend, the one he loved more than himself, so he did not see the orb of light which had floated into the cabin. Danny's jumped, and he twisted in Steve's grasp. The other cookie held him, pulled him into an embrace.

"It's okay, you're going to be okay. We'll get out of this place. I'll get you back to Grace. Don't worry."

Lono chuckled softly when Danny, words muffled by Steve's shoulder, pushed ineffectively at his partner and tried to explain that the way out had magically appeared just behind him. "Schtve, tur...roun...Neand...thal."

Frowning, Steve turned around, eyes growing wide, matching those of the cousins' in every way but color.

"Help me up, you big goof. I don't know about you, but I am ready to get back to good old Kansas," Danny said.

"It's a reference to a well known literary work," Maui explained when Lono's eyes shot to him. "Wizard of Oz, I believe. It's really a fascinating -"

Lono shushed Maui with an impatient wave of his hand, and resumed watching the four as they aided Danny in regaining his feet. He was unsteady on his feet, but his friends kept him upright.

"Are you sure it'll take us back?" one of the cousin's asked.

"I have no idea," Steve answered.

"Well, here goes nothing," Danny said. The smile on his face was more of a grimace, though Lono could hardly blame him for that.

It was Steve, hand-in-hand with Danny, who took the first step, drawing the rest of them into the portal. The cousins were on either side of the duo. Like that, they reminded Lono of the counsel of the gods, and he wondered if, one day, the four might find themselves standing in front of it. He'd have to have a word with the others, show them what Maui had shown him.

"It's done," Maui announced, and he clapped his hands once more, shutting off the brief window they'd had into the world Maui had created for the mortals. It disappeared within the blink of an eye; it's place, in between the mortal realm and the realm of the gods, would remember it no more.

"I think it best it we keep an eye on those four," Lono said.

"I thought you'd say that, uncle." There was a twinkle in Maui's eye, and Lono understood that what the younger, playful god had done to the four humans was as much about him and the counsel of the gods as it was about the four fragile beings living in the land they were charged with guarding.

"They will make worthy warrior guardians of the lands of Hawaii," Lono murmured, thinking aloud.

"Given time and just the right 'ingredients,' they will be perfect," Maui agreed.

Lono shook his head and chuckled at Maui. He was so full of enthusiasm, but the young always were.

"Alright, I give you permission to continue your work with the...what did you call them? Five-0 team?" Lono sighed and rolled his eyes when Maui threw his arms around him in a crushing hug.

He patted the god's back, no more than a youth really,plucked from earth's great sea when he was just a child, and the islands of Hawaii had still been forming - he'd created an island of his own on a dare, thinking it a great joke. Chosen of the gods when he was just a baby, centuries ago, he was still considered 'young' and impetuous in the eyes of the other gods. He remained youthful and boy-like in appearance though he was over a century old. Gods didn't age like humans did, and Maui still had much growing to do, but Lono couldn't have been more proud of him as he was in that moment.

"Thank you, Uncle," Maui said, voice filled with enthusiasm and respect. "I won't let you down."

"No more tricks," Lono cautioned, knowing that asking Maui not to play tricks was like asking the sun not to shine.

Maui just grinned in response, hands held behind his back where Lono knew that the young god had his fingers crossed as he agreed with an overenthusiastic nod.

Lono shook his head, and held a hand out for the young god. Together, they walked toward the temple to attend to the mundane issues of counsel meetings and the distribution of daily assignments.

"Okay, maybe you can play another trick or two," Lono conceded, grimacing as he thought of facing Tawhiri and explaining why his name was mentioned by the mortals.

Hopefully the god would keep his temper in check, and the islands would not feel his wrath visited in their skies, and on their shores. It was going to be a _very _long day.

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><p>Feed the writer, she doesn't bite (well, to be fair, in the case of gingerbread people, I do bite off heads, quite literally).<p> 


	5. The Other Side of the Rainbow

**Disclaimer:** See initial chapter.

**A/N:** I did mention that there was slashiness at the end, right? A reminder, this was supposed to be a single shot of pure crack, therefore it doesn't necessarily follow all of the conventions of regular stories, so please don't hate, or judge too harshly for 'plot' and normality. The plot has been overtaken by rabid alien rabbits, or something like that.

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><p>After being unceremoniously spit out of the place Danny had dubbed, 'the Candy Land from Hell,' and back into the thick of a gunfight, Danny's toy soldier injuries - which had unfortunately followed him into the 'real world' - had been easily explained away. They'd counted it as a small blessing.<p>

Steve, as it turned out (unsurprisingly to hear Danny talk of it, even months later) had not come out of the fracas unscathed. It had only been a flesh wound, but the placement of said 'flesh wound' made it difficult for Steve to sit down without a cushion for several weeks.

Not that Steve was sitting much. He was by Danny's side throughout his week-long stay in the hospital. There had been minor internal damage, and surgery hadn't been required, but the doctors had wanted to keep Danny under observation.

The shoulder wound was easy to deal with and hadn't required much more than stitches. Apparently Chin and Kono's patch up job within the gingerbread house had done him some good, and the wound hadn't gotten infected. Danny did have months of physical therapy to look forward to, before he was back to 'normal'.

As far as Danny was concerned, he _was_ back to normal, not being a gingerbread cookie with gumdrop buttons and icing for eyes was pretty normal in the grand scheme of things. Steve was no longer two dimensional either, which was a definite plus.

"Danno, you almost done in there?" Steve called through the bathroom door, breaking in on Danny's thoughts. Another wonderful thing that he'd gotten out of the whole gingerbread mayhem was Steve...though perhaps he'd had him all along and hadn't realized it until they'd been put into such a bizarre situation.

Danny scowled at his reflection in the mirror and wiped the remnants of the shaving cream from his chin. This whole relationship with Steve was still a little new, though to hear Kono talk about it, he and Steve had been deluding themselves for years, and the 'gingerbread' incident was just the push in the right direction that they needed.

Slogging through fields of marshmallow fluff while dodging bullets from toy soldiers' weapons was not very romantic, though Steve offering up his red hot heart was. Just a little. It was also a macho, super SEAL, man of steel, nothing can best me, move on Steve's part.

'Rambo on steroids,' Danny thought, and he nearly jumped out of his skin when the object of his thoughts burst in through the bathroom door and started patting him down. Steve turned him around so that they were facing each other.

Steve's eyes were deep, cobalt blue, stormy as the ocean as they raked over Danny, resting on the scar that was just above his belly button. Precisely, if Danny was not mistaken, where the gumdrop button had been when he'd been a gingerbread cookie. Or at least that's how Danny had explained the odd, lopsided heart-shaped scar on his stomach.

He liked to think, when he spent time thinking of the incident (not often, because he wasn't obsessive, no matter what Kono said to the contrary) that the scar was heart-shaped because of the red hot that Steve had taken from his own gingerbread body and affixed to Danny's.

It hadn't by any means been the most selfless act that Steve had performed for Danny over the years, and Danny doubted that it would be the man's last, but at the time it felt as though something inside of Danny had shifted. Steve had, in a way, symbolically given Danny his heart - the same one he often wore on his sleeve - and in turn, Danny had given Steve his, just not in so many words, even though words were his forte.

Steve searched Danny's eyes, and Danny rolled his; he could feel Steve's breath on his collarbone. His heart was racing, as it often did when Steve looked at him with such intensity, and his mouth was dryer than his Grandma Williams' roast turkey on Christmas(not that he'd ever tell her; he wanted to live a very long life).

Steve had Danny, probably without any real thought behind it, pinned against the counter, boxer-clad hips nearly flush with Danny's. His thumb was tracing the outer edge of the scar, raising gooseflesh on Danny's skin, and making him breathe as though he was sipping at the air.

"I, uh..." Danny felt dizzy. "Uh, I was almost finished." He nearly choked on his words when the thumb Steve had been using to trace the scar on Danny's stomach was applied to a different, much more sensitive and responsive, portion of Danny's anatomy.

Danny's breath stuttered, and his heart nearly plummeted to his stomach when Steve started to stroke him, and pressed his lips to Danny's in a tender, yet passionate kiss. Steve's eyes were no longer a stormy blue, but a subtle shade of green that nearly drowned out the blue. Steve's eyes were sometimes as changeable as the weather, one of the many things that Danny loved about the man.

"'How do I love thee, let me count the ways...'" Danny rambled, words swallowed in the kiss, hands latched onto Steve's shoulders as the man's hands and lips and body rendered him increasingly senseless.

His nerves were on fire. Electricity sparked wherever Steve touched him.

"You love me?" Steve asked, lips brushing against Danny's as he continued to rut against Danny, now expertly handling the both of them with hands that were as capable of dealing a death blow as they were of blowing Danny's mind.

Unable to speak, Danny grunted, jerked in Steve's hands. He nipped at Steve's lips, dug his fingers into the man's hair and closed his eyes, letting himself get lost in the moment, the movement, in Steve and his hands, his lips, his perfect, perfect body and the little happy noises that he made as they fucked. Danny knew that he was making noises of his own, didn't try to muffle them, or stifle the cry that was rent from him when he came.

"Fuck," Danny breathed out, leaning against Steve, forehead pressed to Steve's as he struggled to regain his bearings, get his breathing and his heart under some semblance of control. Tried to wrap his mind around the fact that he'd just declared, albeit in a literary fashion, his love for Steve.

'Fitting,' Danny thought. 'Life is turning out to be one big, twisted fairytale after another.'

"I'll take that as a, yes," Steve murmured, lips lingering on Danny's.

"Yes, alright, Steven, I, Danny Williams, love you." Danny rolled his eyes at the goofy smile that met his confession.

"Happy?" Danny asked, thinking back to when Steve had been a Rambo-fied gingerbread cookie.

Steve thumbed Danny's clean-shaven jaw and claimed his mouth in a heated kiss that made Danny's toes go numb.

"Yes, Danny, I like." Steve's voice was wrecked. "I love you too."

Danny could've said something trite, like, 'I know you do, you big goofball.' Instead, he drew Steve closer, and sealed their love with a kiss that left the both of them reeling. If they had been gingerbread men now, their eyes would've been shaped like little hearts. Not that Danny misses that time. He doesn't. Nor does he regret any of it, because, in some weird way, it had brought him to this.

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><p>I'm contemplating fleshing out the idea that Maui and Lono broached in chapter four, the Five-0 crew as guardians of Hawaii, and would like to know if there is interest in a story where Steve, Danny, Chin, and Kono become demigods or some such thing. Who knows how the muse will approach this plot idea? Anyway, just thought I'd ask. Also, was the end a complete wash?<p> 


End file.
